Ice: A Reed Security Romance Page 8

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  Lindsey

  He laid next to me quietly, probably wondering how the hell to extricate himself from me without being a jackass. It was better if I did it for him. He only fucked me because I had practically mauled him in my sleep. Again. I couldn’t just lay in bed with him all morning. It would confuse things between us. I sat up in bed, pulling the sheet to my chest. “I think I’m going to take a shower.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before I slipped from the bed and went to the bathroom. As I stood under the warmth of the shower, I tried not to think about how badly I wanted him to want me. He really wasn’t that bad of a guy. I even liked him most of the time, but I knew when I met him that he didn’t like women hanging around. If I started to let myself feel something for him, how would this all end? I was living with him. I couldn’t afford for things to get uncomfortable between us. Warm hands slid around my body, surprising me to the point of screaming. “Calm down, princess. It’s just me.” “You shouldn’t do that. You scared the crap out of me. I didn’t even hear you come in.” “That’s because you were off in lala land. What were you thinking?” I turned and looked into his ice blue eyes and decided just to put it out there. “I don’t think that can happen anymore.” “You say that every time.” “Yeah, well, I mean it this time. Look, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m one of those women that likes relationships and I don’t think I can do casual. I’m pretty sure that all you do is casual. And that’s fine for you, but if I start getting my heart involved and then-” “Whoa, hold on a minute there, princess. We never said anything about feelings. We agreed that this was just sex.” “Would you let me finish?” I glared at him. “I know what we said. I’m telling you that if I don’t want to get my heart involved, then I need to stop now. I’m not capable of having a long term, no strings arrangement. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand where I’m coming from.” He stepped back into the shower spray and ran a hand down his face. “Why? Why do you need some kind of commitment?” “Because it’s who I am. Why can’t you do commitment?” His face grew hard and he scoffed. “Because I don’t want to. I like my life the way it is and I don’t want anyone dictating how I should live it.” “Well, I’m not dictating how you should-” “Are you fucking kidding me?” He cut me off. “You were just yelling at me yesterday for not keeping my own damn house clean.” “So, just be happy that I’m telling you now,” I yelled back. I took a calming breath and pulled down the shampoo from the shelf. “Look, it was fun and definitely good, but it’s just not going to happen-” I was cut off by him spinning me around and pinning me to the shower wall. He thrust his leg between mine and kissed me hard. His hands went crazy, touching every part of me and I caved, because that’s who I am. I wanted this man more than my next breath, even if he was an arrogant asshole. He did things to my body that made me feel sexier than any man before him had. But it wasn’t just that. There was this attraction between us that neither of us could deny and as much as we hated each other, the sex was explosive. He nipped and licked my neck, driving me crazy as he shoved his fingers deep inside my pussy, driving me toward an earth shattering orgasm. When I came hard around his fingers, he smirked at me and then sucked my juices from his fingers. “We’re not through. We both know it. All that bullshit you just told me is an excuse.” He lowered his voice as he put one hand on the shower wall by my head and licked at my ear. “You know you want my cock inside you. It makes me hard just being in the same room with you. So, do whatever you have to do so that you don’t drag your heart into this because we’re not anywhere close to being done fucking.” My eyes slid closed as his lips brushed against my jaw and then he was gone. When I heard the door slam shut, I opened my eyes and thunked my head back against the wall, ashamed that I was so weak that I couldn’t even truly cut things off with him. Every night was the same. He came home. He fucked me. He destroyed me. As in, destroyed me for any man I would ever have in the future. He still pretended like he was always angry with me, but I also saw something change little by little in him.

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  Weeks passed and if John wasn’t at work, he was at home with me, fucking me on every surface. I hadn’t been lying to him. My heart was getting way too involved and there was no way I was coming out of this unscathed. He was still an ass to me, but there were also times that he was actually a decent person. It was a strange sort of camaraderie that we had formed. One that was based on a mutual need for explosive sex. There were times that we laid together at night and I wondered if this meant more to him than he was letting on. The way he held me or looked into my eyes was unnerving. How could he really say this meant nothing? It felt like everything. When I was with him, I felt like everything was finally right in my world. He would never admit if he felt something more and I couldn’t just stay around the house to be his fuck buddy. “I’m heading out of town,” he said to me as he entered the house. “I have a job out of town.” “Do you know how long you’ll be?” “Not a fucking clue. I never know unless the dates are specified.” “So, I won’t be hearing from you while you’re gone?” He was headed to the bedroom, but stopped in his tracks and turned back, glaring at me. “Why would you be hearing from me? We’re not in a relationship. I don’t owe you shit.” I flinched at his harsh words. He was obviously throwing up some walls around us and I had been stupid enough to think he was tearing them down. “I wasn’t suggesting you did,” I said calmly. He turned and headed back for the bedroom. I could hear him packing and then a few minutes later, he returned with his bag slung over his shoulder. “I heard from the insurance agent. It sounds like they’re going to release some of my money soon.” “Good. Are you heading back to Ohio then?” “I was actually thinking of buying that house in town.” I watched him, wondering what he would say, if anything at all. Would he ask me to stay? Would he tell me it wasn’t a good idea to stick around? I just never really knew where I stood with John. “I gotta go.” That was all I got before he walked out of the house.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Ice

  “WHAT THE FUCK is your problem?” Jules asked as we headed out of town. “Nothing,” I said shortly. “Woman troubles,” Chris said with a grin. Ever since he got Alison back, the fucker was smiling all the time. I wanted the grumpy Chris back. The one that was just as pessimistic about relationships as I was. Now he always had a solution for everything. “No, actually my woman problems are being solved.” “Oh yeah? Lindsey’s leaving?” “I don’t know. She said the insurance money should be coming through, but she’s thinking about buying a house in town.” “So, your fuck buddy is sticking around,” Chris surmised. “That’s good for you.” “No, that’s bad for him. It was fine to fuck her when they had an expiration date. Now, she’s sticking around and it’s going to be harder to get rid of her.” “Maybe he doesn’t want to get rid of her,” Chris shot back. “Of course he does. Right?” Jules asked me. I hesitated. I wasn’t sure. This was only supposed to be fucking, but every time I was around her, I just wanted more. And not just sex. Sometimes, I just wanted to hear her voice. There were times that she would talk to me after sex. We’d just be lying in bed and she would start telling me funny stories. It was soothing and strangely satisfying. I didn’t think I’d ever want that with a woman. “Shit,” Jules looked at me in surprise. “I didn’t realize you had it that bad for her.” “I don’t. It’s just…she’s fucking with my head.” “Like what? Is she trying to manipulate you into giving more?” Jules asked. “No.” “Withholding sex?” Chris asked. “Not a chance.” “Oh,” Jules exclaimed. “Is she one of those psycho bitches that goes crazy on you one minute and then all the sudden, it’s like everything is totally cool?” “What? No, nothing like that. She’s just…she talks to me…after sex. It’s…disconcerting.” “She talks to you,” Chris said slowly. “Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem.” Chris shot a look to Jules, telling him I was off my fucking rocker. “No, I get it,” Jules said. “She’s totally fucking wit
h him. Trying to get him to imagine what it would be like if they were a couple. This is what women do. They try to appeal to your intellectual side. She wants to make this more than just sex. A little conversation after a blow job and suddenly, you’re snuggling together at night, and don’t forget what I told you about those fucking Lifetime movies.” “Jesus, are we back on that again? Seriously, what is it with you and those movies?” Jules shook his head in disgust. “I’m telling you, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. Just say no, man. Just say no.” Jules was usually one of the sanest men I knew. Right now? He was a little fucked in the head. Obviously someone had done a number on him, and obviously, it had to do with Lifetime movies.

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  “Alright, Jules, let’s get Davenport back to his house and hit the road.” “Sounds good,” Jules said over his mic. We were on a protective detail for some hot shot in Manhattan. He’d had a few threats on his life and he needed security to accompany him to an event because his own security was short staffed. Once we dropped him at his house, our job was over. And thank fuck because I was tired of this prick. He fucking complained about everything. He didn’t like that we weren’t wearing suits because it looked bad in pictures. He didn’t like that we carried guns because he didn’t approve of them. He even hated Chris’s cowboy hat because it wasn’t ‘New York’ enough. We drove back to his house, pulling up to the security gate. Nobody was in the guard house like they were supposed to be. Signaling for Chris and Jules to cover our client, I got out and checked out the perimeter. The guard was in the guardhouse, but he was asleep in his fucking chair. I hit the button to open the gate and then closed it back up when the vehicles drove through. Hopping the fence, I joined my team in escorting Davenport into the house. I knew as soon as we entered that we needed to leave. Chris and Jules sensed it too. There was just something that was different. Something that was wrong.

  “Jules, back to the SUV,” I said as I pulled my gun and watched for any sign of movement. It was too silent in the house. There should have been guards around somewhere. They would have been alerted when we entered and they should have met us at the door. I heard Jules shoving Davenport out the front door and started backing out the door. Chris was a few feet to my left. As soon as we stepped outside, all hell broke loose. Jules and Davenport were headed to the first SUV with Chris, while I headed for the second. My hand barely touched the handle of the SUV when I heard the click. I only had a few seconds to turn and run before the SUV blew sky high, bursting into a ball of flames. I was thrown back, sliding across the pavement as the wind was knocked from my lungs. The roar of the explosion was so loud that I was temporarily deaf. I shook my head, trying to clear the smoke and fire from my vision. I saw a little boy in rags, running from a building, chasing after his mom. What the hell? There was sand all around us, blowing and biting into my skin. They ran into a building and I yelled for them to stop, but they didn’t hear me. The building blew up just as I was standing up to run after them. “Ice! Hey, Ice!” Chris was standing over me, slapping at my cheek. I peeled my eyes open and groaned at the pain in my head. I must have smacked it on the ground. “We gotta move!” I nodded and started to stand with Chris’s help. When I was sure I wouldn’t fall over, I ran with him for the second vehicle, which Jules and Davenport were already waiting in. I sensed it behind me, that feeling that someone was watching. I spun, drawing my gun and aiming back toward the house just as the first shot was fired. There was a single man standing in the doorway, aiming right at Chris, who was a few feet from me. It all happened so fast. Chris hadn’t realized that the man was even there. I didn’t hesitate, jumping in front of Chris as I fired my weapon, killing the man by the house. I barely felt the sting in my chest as I fell backwards. I hit the door of the SUV hard, slamming my head back into the mirror. Chris was hauling me up and over his shoulder in seconds, throwing me into the back of the SUV. “You fucking dumbass. What the hell were you thinking?” Chris’s voice was distorted as I tried to draw in a breath, but it felt like there was an elephant on my chest. Chris tore the vest from my body and I finally felt a little relief, taking in my first breath. “You’re lucky it just hit your vest. What the fuck were you thinking, jumping in front of me like that?” “Just say thank you, asshole,” I rasped out. “That’d be just what I need, to have to go back and tell Lindsey that you were dead because you were a dumbass.” “Better than me having to tell your wife and kid that you were dead because you didn’t turn the fuck around,” I bit out around the pain in my chest. Vest or not, it fucking hurt to take a bullet to the chest. “Stop fucking arguing about who should have taken the bullet,” Jules yelled from the front. “Or I’ll put a bullet in both of you and tell your girls that you were too fucking stupid to move.” Chris rolled his eyes at me. “He’s so fucking dramatic.” “Total pussy,” I groused. Chris shifted his weight, pressing against my leg and I gritted my teeth, trying my best not to scream out in pain. I just barely held it in. “Fuck, looks like you got hit in the leg.” “Just put a bandaid on it, so we can get the fuck out of here.” “We’re heading back to Reed Security,” Jules said. “Already called it in to Cap.” “Fuck, we could have handled it,” I said as Chris pressed something down on my leg. “Looks like a through and through. We should be able to just wrap it until we get back to Kate. You want something for the pain?” I could feel the sweat building as I fought off the pain. I didn’t want to take anything and pass out. I was still the team leader. “No, fuck that. I’m fine.” “Yeah, we got a long drive home. We’ll see how long you last.” Turns out, I didn’t last very fucking long.